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30 January 2007

Summer Holidays #2

Things I learnt in South Australia:

-wine is awesome. Also port.

-South Australians are only allowed to listen to Dido. All other musical artists are banned.

-the speed limit in SA is 60k/h. Everywhere. This is because SA citizens are all born with loosely attached heads, and the authorities are afraid that if they drive too fast their heads will fall right off.

-when you go swimming at the beach, hairy men with tattoos leave laminated cards in your beach bag that say "Pete's Mobile, call or txt anytime", and a number which, out of respect for Pete, I won't include. This is the generally accepted method of courtship in SA.

-cockatoos are fucking evil.

-SA contains some lovely young people ("Pete" notwithstanding), but all the women I encountered over 50 were surly and sour. Apart from my grandma, of course.

-there is no God (imho. and Richard Dawkins').

3 comments:

Jellyfish said...

Yes, but what did you learn at Sandy Point? Surely the holiday involving me WAS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.

ps - the card was LAMINATED? Christ, Pete, you plan ahead don't you fella?

pps - Of course there is a God, how else can you explain cookie trees?

lili said...

What i learnt at Sandy Point is Summer Holiday Post #3. Patience, grasshopper.

audrey said...

The best part of SA beaches is when you go to Maslins and the old men walk around on the beach with short tee shirts on and their tackle hanging out before ducking into the scrubland for a bit of anonymous one on one.