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20 February 2007

What's on my mind right now...

1. Religion. I have finished The God Delusion. I'm going to post about it in more detail later. But I am horrified and angry and scared (by the book, not at the book, if that makes sense. I'm not angry with Richard Dawkins.). The world is a scary place, containing some very scary people.

2. Copyright and plagarism. I wonder when we got to a point where for something to be good, it had to be new. Today, Shakespeare never would have been published because his work is too derivative. Campbell's Soup would have sued Andy Warhol. What's wrong with me taking something you made, and making it better? (as long as it doesn't affect you in a negative way). Thomas Jefferson said this: He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.

3. My novel. And how I should be working on it RIGHT NOW, and how I will regret writing this blog post and eating lunch and watching Grey's Anatomy (and this clip of TR Knight on Sesame Street) and sleeping, when I get terrible reviews about how underpolished my book is.

4. I think that a large part of my love for Barak Obama comes from his resemblance to Jimmy Smits's character on The West Wing. Is that wrong?

5. Scrotums.

6. How I am such an ubernerd that the Web 2.0 video that everyone is talking about made me cry.

6. The fact that Spiderman's radioactive sperm killed Mary Jane. Do you reckon they were having safe sex, and it just burnt through the condom? "Oh God, I'm sorry! The doctors didn't understand how it happened! How you had been poisoned by radioactivity! How your body slowly became riddled with cancer! I did. I was... I am filled with radioactive blood. And not just blood. Every fluid. Touching me... loving me... Loving me killed you!"

14 February 2007

Bay leaves

Jane Espenson recently mentioned something on her blog that is resonating with me, in a somewhat painful way.

It's a less violent variant on the 'kill your children' writing advice.

Jane likens some ideas to bay leaves. You really need them to get the sauce started. They help develop the flavour. But when it's time to take the sauce out of the saucepan, you gotta get rid of the bay leaves.

There are a number of scenes in my novel that are bay leaf scenes. A couple I have changed radically, most I have simply deleted. It's sad to see them go, but I know the book will be better for it.

13 February 2007

This post is brought to you by the letter L

Penni has, like a literary fairy godmother, bestowed the letter L upon me. I shall use it to talk about things I like that start with L.

L is for

Lemonade. I rediscovered lemonade on New Years Day, when my body obviously needed to replace some things that hadn't come with me into 2007 (like sobriety).

Small l liberalism. Hurrah for Mr Obama! I'd vote for you.

Canting words that start with L, like Lickspittle (a traitor) and light-heeled wench (one who is likely to end up on her back) and line of the old author (a dram of brandy).

Link Hogthrob, one of my favourite Muppets. Apparently when Jim Henson was doing Manly Things like carving the Sunday roast, he'd put on a manly Link Hogthrob voice.

The Library where I work. There is something very satisfying about walking up those grand steps and under the pillars every morning.

...and because Penni mentioned this clip when she bestowed L upon me, L is finally for La la la LINOLEUM.

11 February 2007

An Apology

Dear Meg Cabot,

I am so sorry. So. So. Sorry.

Last night, The Princess Diaries 2 was on TV. Being an enormous Meg Cabot fan, I cooked paella, opened a bottle of wine and invited my friends over. Hurrah! Two whole hours of Cabotty goodness!

I should have known, really.

The first clue was in the opening titles when it said 'based on characters created by Meg Cabot'. Uh oh.

Then... what's this? Mia is graduating? She's 21? Her coronation is in a month?

How come she's forgotten about Michael?
What happened to the other SIX books all set before now?
Why isn't Fat Louie fat anymore?
Where the hell is Mia's mother?
Does Raven actually serve any narrative-related purpose?

and worst of all

Why why why why why is Lilly suddenly a glorified PA?
What happened to her IQ of 170? Where did her strident feministy liberal views go? (and no, wearing a World Wildlife Foundation tshirt isn't enough) What happened to her cable access tv show?

Oh Meg. You must be so sad. I mean, it was a while ago and I'm sure you're over it particularly since you just signed a book deal with Scholastic that includes the words 'world domination', but still. I can imagine that you went to the premiere and you wore a new dress and you were all smiley and lovely. And you sat down in the cinema, politely declined popcorn in case it made the dress greasy, and the lights went down, and you were so excited.

And halfway through you probably had to get up and pretend you needed to pee or something, because you just couldn't bear it anymore.

So I am sorry.

Lots of Love,


p.s. Shonda Rhimes, you should be ashamed of yourself. Seriously.

09 February 2007

Summer Holidays #3

At Sandy Beach...

Munkey: Would you rather bob for apples in pus, or hit a pinata full of diarrhea?

Snaz: (tremendously excited) Pus! Pus!

(everyone stare at the crazy girl)

Snaz: What? I'm really good at bobbing for apples!

05 February 2007

A Question about Harry Potter

Author Gail Gauthier recently pointed something out on her blog which gave me pause for thought.

-In this news article, JK says that she finished writing HP7 on Jan 11, 2007.

-On her website, she mentioned in December 2006 that she was writing scenes which had been planned for twelve years.

-The publication date of HP 7 is 21 July 2007.

It can be deduced, then, that JK was writing original material last December, implying that the draft she finished two weeks ago was the first draft.

Leaving five-and-a-bit months to edit, redraft, re-edit, redraft again, pageset, copyedit and proofread an 800-plus page novel.

Now, I know I am a new author, and my books probably need more polishing than average. But I am currently working on draft THREE of my novel, which won't be published until August!

Hmm. Answers a few questions I had about the quality of the last two HP books.