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13 March 2008

iPod shame

Today, for the first time ever, I experienced iPod shame.

Now, I'm generally quite proud to have some unusual things on my iPod. I have a large collection of songs from Sesame Street, for instance, that I treasure*. I'm even willing to admit I have a couple of George Michael songs on there.

But recently I've been delving back into the 90s. Why? Good question. It's certainly not because it was an era of musical genius, that's for sure. The reason is because I'm writing a book that contains elements of autobiography, so I'm trying to remember what it was like being 16 year old Lili. This process has also involved reading lots of old diaries and letters (the POETRY! save me from the POETRY!!!), and watching TV shows like this on DVD.

So I managed to get my hands on some Top 40 hits like this one. And this one. And this one. Oh, and this one.

So this morning I was sitting on the bus. Listening to my iPod. And a new song came on. And I looked down at my iPod, and saw this. And I quickly turned it over to hide the screen, because I Had A Shame. Please don't judge me.

Oh, and just to make you feel old: that baby, on the cover of the Nirvana album up there? His name is Spencer Elden. He's 17 now. Doing his final year of high school in LA.

_____________________________
*Who wouldn't want Steve Tyler singing I Love Trash? Come on, people.

12 March 2008

The Crafty Wench Strikes Again

A cosy flowery scarf for winter... Pattern here.
A not-turtle* for Not A Turtle's Birthday. Pattern here.

And some elfin boots for baby Figgy. Pattern here.
___________________________
*because it's a tortoise.

07 March 2008

Well done, sister suffragette!

Today is International Women's Day.

It's also the Centenary of Women's Suffrage in Victoria.

New Zealand came first with the whole women-voting thing, in 1893, followed by South Australia in 1902.

In Victoria, the issue was kicked off in 1891 when Premier James Munro said that he'd introduce a bill for Women's suffrage if ordinary women demonstrated they wanted the right. They did. They created the Monster Petition, with 30 000 signatures, in six weeks. The petition was 260 metres long, and several attendants were needed to carry it into Parliament. For some strange reason it took 19 bills and 17 years to actually give women the voting stamp of approval, but that's what happens when all the politicians are men.

The UK gave women the vote in 1918, but it had restrictions until 1928.

The US did it in 1920.

Italy gave women the nod in 1948, as did Belgium, Israel, Iraq and South Korea.

Switzerland didn't have women's suffrage until 1971, nor Lichtenstein, until 1984.

The most recent nation to grant their women the right to vote was the United Arab Emirates. There are still restrictions, which will be lifted by 2010.

We've come a long way, but while you're munching on your purple-iced cupcake and admiring your fancy new blue stockings, spare a thought for the women in the world who are still disenfranchised.

04 March 2008

A Short Comprehension Test

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Billionaire Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling would feel "exploited" if a fan's unofficial encyclopedic companion to the boy wizard series was published, she said in court papers made public on Thursday.

QUESTION:
Who's side is Reuters on, the billionaire, or the fan? Explain your answer. (full article here)

03 March 2008

Anniversary

I have worked here for five years. How very un-Gen Y of me.

27 February 2008

Garfield minus Garfield

What is reading?

I was listening to the audiobook of Barack Obama's The Audacity of Hope this morning on the bus, and I thought Is this reading?

My immediate thought was no. Reading has to have words printed on a page. Then I thought of Shaun Tan's The Arrival, which has no words, but is definitely read.

But you don't read a painting in a gallery. Do you?

You do read:
-sheet music
-tea-leaves
-braille
-moods

Wikipedia says: Reading is the cognitive process of deriving meaning from written or printed text. I am not so sure.

23 February 2008

Saturday morning rant (story v language)

I've been thinking a lot about the war that is being fought between story and language.

It shouldn't be a war. Language and story should work together. But people don't seem to want to let them, and so they fight.

I heard someone say recently that they didn't like books they couldn't put down. This person felt manipulated by a gripping plot. I found this astonishing.

It goes hand-in-hand with the snobbery towards mass-market fiction, chicklit (see Maureen Johnson's awesome post for more on that) and, of course, YA.

Nick Hornby has this to say:

“In a way, I think all books should be teen books. I can read them quickly without getting bogged down, and feel I’ve read something that was meant in the way literature’s supposed to be. They’re very digestible, designed not to bore people.”

But if you have a look at the kind of books that win the Miles Franklin and the Booker, it seems pretty clear that the literati don't agree. Literature needs to be dense, beautiful and obfuscating.

I love beautiful language. Writers like Margaret Atwood (pre-Oryx & Crake), Jorge Louis-Borges and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. And of course the beautiful-language YA writers Ursula Dubosarsky, Margo Lanagan and David Almond. But as well as having a truly magical control over language, all these writers also know how to tell a cracking good story.

Making stories is an art. It's difficult and complex and there are rules and structures, and if you don't want to stick to those rules and structures, then fine, but you'd better have a damn good reason. In my four years of studying creative writing at Uni, not one class mentioned the importance of structure, except of course, for my screenwriting class.

The story vs language brawl spills over into visual media as well. Film can be loved by our intellectual elite because of its 'language' - the cinematography, metaphor and mood. Television, however, is much more reliant on story. Smaller screens, heavily prescribed time limits, and a need for continuity mean that TV shows have more rules and structures.
But that doesn't mean they can't be art, too. There is often more thought, care, craft, put into an episode of The West Wing, Six Feet Under or Veronica Mars, than into a feature film of the kind that our intellectual elite favour.

I'm not really sure where this rant is heading. I suppose it's a plea. Don't be ashamed to read The Da Vinci Code just because it's mass market fiction. There are plenty of other reasons to be ashamed (ie: it's crap). Embrace your love of chicklit (and its cinematic equivalent, the romcom). Read a fantasy novel. Watch Battlestar Galactica.

Yes. There is bad chicklit. And bad fantasy novels. And books like The Da Vinci Code.

But here's a revalation: there's a lot of bad books, full stop. Some of them have won prestigious literary awards.

You will judge a book by its cover - everyone does. I certainly do. But I try not to judge books by what section of the bookshop they are shelved in*.

Send in the peacekeepers! End the war! Give story a chance.

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*This isn't entirely true. I tend to avoid self-help and true-crime. But in terms of fiction, I'm showing the love for all shelves.

13 February 2008

ZOMBIE IDOL

Over at insideadog, Maureen Johnson is putting to the test the theory that all books are made better with a zombie.
And you're invited! Transform a work of existing literature by adding a zombie. You might even win a prize...
Here's examples from Maureen, Justine and Scott. And here's mine, with apologies to Walt Whitman:

O ZOMBIE! my Zombie! our fearful trip is done; 

Our bodies weather'd every whack, the brains we sought are nom nom nom; 

Our lunch is near, the bells I hear, the people all screaming, 

While follow eyes the zombie reel, our onslaught grim and daring: 

But O brains! brains! brains!

O the bleeding drops of red, 

Where on the deck my dinner lies, 

Fallen cold and dead.


Sorry

Today we honour the Indigenous peoples of this land, the oldest continuing cultures in human history.

We reflect on their past mistreatment.

We reflect in particular on the mistreatment of those who were stolen generations - this blemished chapter in our nation's history.

The time has now come for the nation to turn a new page in Australia's history by righting the wrongs of the past and so moving forward with confidence to the future.

We apologise for the laws and policies of successive Parliaments and governments that have inflicted profound grief, suffering and loss on these our fellow Australians.

We apologise especially for the removal of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children from their families, their communities and their country.

For the pain, suffering and hurt of these stolen generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry.

To the mothers and the fathers, the brothers and the sisters, for the breaking up of families and communities, we say sorry.

And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry.

(the rest is here)

11 February 2008

09 February 2008

Santos for President!

Er, I mean Obama. Are they actually different people?

There's been much Debate amongst the troops about whether we like Santos Obama or Hillary better. And I know there must be many Americans who are also struggling with this decision. So, for all of the THOUSANDS of Americans that I know read this blog, here is my helpful guide:



Candidates as gaming consoles (Hillary is the well-funded and experienced Xbox 360, Santos Obama: "Yes Wii Can!")

Candidates as D&D characters.

Candidates as Muppets (thanks, Snazzy!)

BUT SERIOUSLY

This is a really useful website that has a QUIZ to match your priorities against the candidates'. Environment and Education make me squarely on the Santos Obama train.

08 February 2008

Overheard in Melbourne Central

Skanky Teen Girl #1: Ohmigawd, have youse read that book Twilight?

Skanky Teen Girl #2: Huh?

STG #1: Twilight? It's Stephanie Meyer? It's the BOMB.

STG #2: Books? Yuck?

STG #1: No, I know that, you know, teachers say you fall in love with a character in a book? And I'm all like gross? That's so dumb? But I swear, chapter one of Twilight and I just... you just... he's so...

STG #2: Shut up. Let's go to Supré .

30 January 2008

Inky in the flesh... or at least in the plush

Look at who arrived on my desk at work today!

It's my very own Inky Mascot. Even his newspaper skin is made from dog-related newspaper articles!

Many thanks to Rochelle and her crafty madskills for brightening up my Wednesday.

23 January 2008

Lili at the Gym

So I'm doing my sumo squats (VERY flattering, let me assure you), sweating, and listening to my iPod. The thing that I'm listening to makes me laugh, and the middle-aged woman doing lat pulldowns nearby glares at me with a 'oh the young people today and their gizmos, never get to play outside with the other children, shutting themselves off from the world with their LONG HAIR listening to these BEATLES and it's not even SPELT right DEATH OF CIVILISED SOCIETY' kind of face.

My question is: would she have been more or less disapproving if she'd known I was listening to the audiobook of Christopher Hitchens' God is Not Great?*

_____________
*interspersed with high energy, low quality numbers like Avril's Girlfriend.

22 January 2008

More Awesome

1. US author Sherman Alexie, author of Diary of a Part Time Indian, is awesome. And he has a boner.


2. Oedipus, in 8 minutes, performed by vegetables.

11 January 2008

Five Reasons why Mexicans are Awesome

1. Mexican food.

2. Corona.

3. The way that whenever characters on TV go to Mexico, everything is shot with a yellow filter.

4. 2006. All police officers in Nezahualcoyotl are required to attend a fortnightly book club in order to keep their jobs. This is a two-pronged approach: firstly, it broadens the minds of the cops (most of whom didn't stay at school past grade 5). And secondly, it proves to the public that not all cops are scheming low-lifers. "The principle is that a police officer who is cultured is in a better position to be a better police officer," says Jose Jorge Amador, the head of public security.

(replace the words "police officer" with the words "human being" and I reckon we've got ourselves a Charter for Life)

5. 2007. The reading program (it's called Literature On Alert) is still going strong. And still amazingly creative. They've translated some of the best works of Spanish literature into... into Cop. Like this, from Gabriel Garcia Marquez's One Hundred Years of Solitude:

Many alfas later, in front of a 44 squad, Col. Aureliano Buendia had a 60 about that distant afternoon when his father 26 him to 62 ice.

They're police radio codes. They're giving this new version of the book to new recruits, who then, astonishingly, ASK FOR MORE BOOKS. In normal Spanish. And then they go home and buy books for their CHILDREN. One cop has published a novel. Another is studying Law in his spare time. They have creative writing classes and group storytelling sessions.

I think I want to be a Mexican cop.

Can you IMAGINE what life would be like if everyone, in every job, did this? What the world would be like? Sigh.

04 January 2008

The Story of Beekeeper John and the Bees

On my summer holiday, I helped my Dad liberate some honey from his bees. These bees live down at our block of land at Glenaire, although we do have 2 hives on the roof in Clifton Hill as well.

Step 1: We approach the hive, with some trepidation. The Bees* are very suspicious.
Step 2: Beekeeper John puffs some smoke onto the hive, which calms the Bees.
Step 3: Beekeeper John takes 2 of the 8 frames from the hives. This is where the Bees make honeycomb and fill it with honey. Special Helper Lili stays in the car and observes.
Step 4: The Bees** get REALLY REALLY ANGRY because Beekeeper John is stealing their honey. It's lucky he's wearing his special Beekeeper Suit (btw, it's white because Bees are less likely to attack white. Except obviously in this case, as he gets five stings.)
Step 5: With a heated knife, we break the seals on the honeycomb.
Step 6: The frames are put into a centrifuge...
Step 7: ...and Beekeeper John spins them round and round so the honey flies out and drips down the sides.
Step 8: Then we just open up the tap on the bottom of the centrifuge and all the honey comes out. We strain it to get rid of the wax.Step 9: Nom nom nom. We got about 3 litres off those two frames.
Step 10: Then we go replace the empty honeycomb back in the hives. The Bees*** are still pretty pissed, but they are enjoying their lovely view.
-----------------------------
*Nerdy Bee Fact #1: Honey is the only natural foodstuff on earth that doesn't perish.

**Nerdy Bee Fact #2: Bees dance at each other to communicate the location of nectar sources.

***Nerdy Bee Fact #3: Taxes were paid with honey in Ancient Egypt.

25 December 2007

Christmas at the Wilkinson House

8am. rinse turkey and season with lemon, garlic and herb butter.

8:30. toast and tea. open presents. 

9:15. turkey in oven. baste every 15 minutes for the next three hours.

9:30-11:30. make bread sauce and stuffing, prepare veggies, put pudding in to boil. shower, tidy, set table.

12:30. turkey out to stand. make gravy. crank up the oven for the veggies, stuffing and bread sauce. steam veggies. cut ham.

12:45. open the wine.

1pm. eat. crackers, more wine. terrible jokes.

2pm. swear you'll never eat again.

2:30. pudding. soak in rum on the plate, and then heat rum in a ladle, set on fire and pour liquid fire onto pudding. nom nom nom.

3pm. swear you'll never eat again.

4pm. chocolate santas and mince pies. pictionary, chinese checkers.

5pm. walk to the park (SLOWLY).

6pm. small nap.

7pm. turkey and stuffing sandwich.

7:30. swear you'll never eat again.

8pm. maybe one more mince pie.

8:30. It's a Wonderful Life on TV (or a Muppet Christmas Carol). Graze on nuts, chocolate santas, ham, leftover veggies. Try and learn the difference between port, muscat and tokay by having one glass of each.

11pm. Bed.

Merry Christmas, blogosphere!

14 December 2007

Real or Fake? The Christmas Tree Dilemma

I love Christmas. I love everything about it. I can even tolerate a tiny bit of Jesus-lovin' at Christmas time (as long as it's the Away in a Manger kind of Jesus-lovin', not the 'Jesus wants me to carry a gun' kind).
And one of my favourite things about Christmas (apart from the food) is a Christmas tree. But there is the dilemma: real or fake?
Real is nice because it's... well, it's real. It is a tree and it smells nice. But there are a couple of things that are problematic with real ones, namely:
1. They go brown very quickly, and don't last until twelfth night.
2. Things live in them. Like snails who eat wrapping paper.
3. I am violently allergic to them, and can't be in the same room as one without medication.
and
4. Monterey pines, which are the only kind of Christmas tree available in Australia.
These are Christmas trees:

This, however, is not a Christmas tree:

It just isn't.
So I've gone fake. If I could get a Douglas fir or a Fraser, then I might be prepared to deal with the snails and the vast amounts of Claratyne. But not for a Monterey Pine.